Life update: February 2018
Thought I’d give y’all a quick life update. Mainly been doing school, but been going through some emotional stuff too. To any readers who deal with self-hatred, please, please remember that you are forgiven. You are loved. You are a child of God. Seriously, you are not Jesus, so quit hating yourself for not being perfect. God really does forgive you when you mess up, so when you don’t forgive yourself that’s almost like saying Jesus dying for your sins on the cross is good enough for God but not you. So please. Don’t hate yourself. Look in the mirror and say, “God made me. I am beautiful. I am loved. I am a mess, yes, but a beautiful mess because God is in me. Working on me. Turning me into His masterpiece.” Now time for me to take my own advice. I know that it is hard when what people expect of you because you are a Christian is not a reality, and you are trying as hard as you can to make it a reality. Like having the right opinions of yourself, as a Child of God. It really stinks to know all the answers and be able to fully believe them about anyone else but yourself. For over two years now, since a little before I gave my life to God, I have been dealing with some really intense self-hatred. Now it hasn’t been too much of a problem most of the time, I mean, it wasn’t right, but it wasn’t wrong to the point of me thinking I needed to actually reach out and get help. Recently it’s gotten worse. But that’s not the point! The point is that I know, with everything that I am that God is going to pull me out of here. That He is going to take this and turn it into a wonderful part of my story. My story, written by God. When you read a good book you don’t tribute it’s goodness to the charectars, but the the author, who wrote the story in the first place. I pray with all that I am that when people look at my life, they give the credit to the Author of my life, my Almighty Father and King. You know God is amazing, and I love Him with all I am. He is going to teach me how to have a healthy love for myself so that I can truly embrace and help others. God is good. All of the time. I firmly believe that, and hope that you do too. But yeah, that’s kind of where I am, emotionally. Trying to get out of this rut and then hating myself for being in it in the first place. Then I hate myself for hating myself. Ironic, is it not? Anyways. God’s got this. He’s amazing, I love Him, and He’s got this. Hope that you have a great day! Truly, hope that I can bring joy and inspiration to your life because of God the Father in me! That’s my only purpose in life, after all, is to help people see God in me and want to come to Him and live for Him! He is eternally amazing!